tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post7407580614714430480..comments2024-03-28T22:49:03.563-05:00Comments on Lag Liv: A Few Days In The LifeLLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-13884229678856329302018-01-24T06:35:51.847-06:002018-01-24T06:35:51.847-06:00Thank you all for sharing. Thank you--LizThank you all for sharing. Thank you--LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-71420400244074579532018-01-23T22:20:06.608-06:002018-01-23T22:20:06.608-06:00Everyone. Stop. Seriously. Now you’re just trying ...Everyone. Stop. Seriously. Now you’re just trying to make yourselves feel better but you’re hurting someone and their family. Stop.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-48750110777583073302018-01-23T21:32:59.593-06:002018-01-23T21:32:59.593-06:00You are so kind to take the time to reply before b...You are so kind to take the time to reply before bed last night! I greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness and your beautiful words. You are absolutely right, of course. Nothing I did or said to my mother in emotionally challenging times changed how she felt about me. We were incredibly close and shared a bond that death couldn’t shake. I feel her with me every day. I hope that you and Landon only grow closer as you navigate these sometimes difficult waters. Sending love your way. Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11070830887741144710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-40194277042714392182018-01-23T20:54:03.163-06:002018-01-23T20:54:03.163-06:00Daisy here. I didn't mean to be hurtful. I tri...Daisy here. I didn't mean to be hurtful. I tried not to be. But as someone who has read here for years and years what was once enjoyable has turned into feeling like I'm reading something I'm not supposed to- something that is private- about someone who isn't the author. And some of the comments about L and his behavior are things that if I read about me, written by my parent, I'd be crushed. And they are things that if my peers (back when I was Landon's age) read, they'd like make fun of me for. So that was all I was trying to say. Not start...this. That wasn't my intent, although I suppose intent doesn't matter. I too am a law mama and I have enjoyed this corner of the internet, and merely wanted to provide some outside perspective on what is clearly a tough personal issue. Daisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09763193296811601057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-75495312690856322142018-01-23T19:18:22.580-06:002018-01-23T19:18:22.580-06:00Okay, WendyOkay, WendyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-85000043395324644872018-01-23T19:12:14.633-06:002018-01-23T19:12:14.633-06:00I think all readers commenting in this thread are ...I think all readers commenting in this thread are regular, invested Lag Liv readers who appreciate LL's candidness in describing the different aspects of her life. This includes those readers who are asking hard questions. <br /><br />Perhaps Daisy didn't need to phrase things as being "wildly uncomfortable" or "cringeworthy," but that is how she felt and I am interested to read her opinion, as well as LL's response to it. Likewise, perhaps others could have been gentler in their comments stating "enough already," rejecting a reader's apology as not being apologetic enough, or concluding that "nobody with an opinion that counts" would share Daisy's perspective. Maybe Wendy was off-base with her assessment that LL has "a bit of a detachment" with Landon. Maybe LL was unfair in characterizing Wendy's (seemingly) nonjudgmental reference to a previous event as being "a slap in the face" when that event was very publicly chronicled in this blog as it was happening, and has been repeatedly referenced in other posts over the years. Maybe LL's comment wasn't even a reference to Wendy's statement, but just to the memory itself? We all have our own interpretation of things and opinions about everyone else's word choices.<br /><br />Should LL change the voice of her blog for fear of being judged by her readers? Should people stop asking questions in the comments section for fear of being shut down by a resounding chorus of "the rest of us don't think that so ignore that person!"? Daisy posed a legitimate question about the need for privacy, which LL herself has addressed in other posts. Our interest in knowing every detail of LL's life does not need to factor into LL's decision about how much private information she's comfortable sharing. She can make that decision based on the unique needs of her family, which only her family knows and understands.Mollynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-3492081078770570872018-01-23T18:43:31.500-06:002018-01-23T18:43:31.500-06:00What a beautiful reply. Wishing you strength and ...What a beautiful reply. Wishing you strength and compassion as you work through the challenges with your heart open to the good times at the same time.Shellyhttp://journeyofarestlesssoul.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-84131331024516342652018-01-23T15:30:59.531-06:002018-01-23T15:30:59.531-06:00I wanted to chime in and add how much I love your ...I wanted to chime in and add how much I love your blog and appreciate your honesty and realness that you bring every time you write. As a younger woman in the beginning stages of her career I've read your blog as a sort of inspiration (I think you are killing it with both the professional and personal aspects of your life!) I know the comments sting but I hope you can ignore the armchair psychologists and keeping doing what you know is best for you and your family. You are a great mom and that is the first thing that comes across when anyone reads your blog! Lauranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-21524172386571437762018-01-23T14:03:24.960-06:002018-01-23T14:03:24.960-06:00Echoing other comments to not worry about 1 intern...Echoing other comments to not worry about 1 internet busy body. you're a great mom and i love your blog. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-58156836372037549162018-01-23T12:05:38.868-06:002018-01-23T12:05:38.868-06:00Hugs and support from this corner too. Sometimes I...Hugs and support from this corner too. Sometimes I think I'm dealing with similar parenting issues with my son and he's only 5.5 - eek, I know it's going to get so much harder (but also better too)! <br /><br />Has this come across your radar? L sounds like a really bright kid. Does Texas test for giftedness? <br />Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students: Helping Kids Cope with Explosive Feelings https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008XKBHRO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_wJ3zAb8ZE87E7 anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17427455657595094809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-80835947854081146672018-01-23T12:03:53.537-06:002018-01-23T12:03:53.537-06:00Wendy, your "apology" is a perfect examp...Wendy, your "apology" is a perfect example of "sorry I hurt your feelings but I was 100% justified in what I said and I will say it again just in case it didn't hurt enough the first time." Enough already.Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02005093632193038141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-15738653281275692982018-01-23T12:00:23.683-06:002018-01-23T12:00:23.683-06:00I agree 100% with Misha!I agree 100% with Misha!Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02005093632193038141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-89251567470632178952018-01-23T11:51:50.759-06:002018-01-23T11:51:50.759-06:00This feels like a good place to add to this positi...This feels like a good place to add to this positive & encouraging love for your parenting style and your ability to keep it real. I find your writing style super refreshing. It goes without saying that we all love our kids a ton. To have to justify feelings & frustrations is so insulting and surely felt like a gut punch. Keep on keepin' on, girl. I have a 10 year old boy with some crazy mood swings and sometimes he pisses me off...and yes, sometimes he does it on purpose and needs to control that shit.Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02005093632193038141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-67795616320921415132018-01-23T11:29:39.108-06:002018-01-23T11:29:39.108-06:00I sincerely apologize if you felt that my comment ...I sincerely apologize if you felt that my comment was criticism. I thought I worded it very carefully and thoughtfully, and have re-read it several times to see where the criticism or judgment may lie, but I don't see it. I truly meant my comment to be helpful - something that someone completely emotionally removed from the situation and with a very unique perspective may be able to see that others (the professionals you are consulting) may not see, as they don't have the benefit of reading through 10 years of archives, etc. It was truly just something I put out there for you to consider and evaluate within yourself. I am someone who does a ton of self-reflection and, by nature, am very analytical. Suggesting that you might have a slight emotional detachment with Landon was not meant, at all, to be a negative judgment or criticism against you... but traumatic things from our past DO come back and haunt us in all sorts of ways - and what you went through WAS traumatic, and every mother's worst nightmare. I never intended for my comment to be perceived as blaming or critical, and I'm very sorry if that was how it came across. Again, while I DO agree that a blog is not the best forum for that feedback, it's not like I could just go out for a margarita and talk about life with you. Again, I am very sorry if my comments hurt you - that was never my intent, and I definitely didn't mean to "slap you in the face" with things that happened a decade ago. I don't believe anything in my comment suggested a bitter anger towards your son, and a psychological detachment is not a negative judgment against you or your abilities as a mother; it's a defense mechanism that you MAY have employed to get you through a hard time. And, in case this didn't come across in my original comment, I'm certain that your parenting on your worse days still far exceeds many of us on our best days. <br /><br />Wendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-25059321185078325472018-01-23T11:19:35.123-06:002018-01-23T11:19:35.123-06:00Nothing new to add just wanted to add some support...Nothing new to add just wanted to add some support to the choir. I so enjoy your blog and honesty and saw no harm in what was shared. Moreover, I agree with the commenter above that it's important to show our children that parents have feelings and struggles too and I think that's exactly what your blog shows. Jeannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-66053630721948435292018-01-23T08:14:20.848-06:002018-01-23T08:14:20.848-06:00I have no perspective (with a female toddler and a...I have no perspective (with a female toddler and a female baby on the way and no tweens in sight for quite a while) and don't think I caught the first draft post, but I have to say I agree with Misha (including that yours is basically the only blog I read) that you come across as a loving, proud, and exceedingly patient mother who I (as a fellow working lawyer mom) would be honored to be compared to. If I can show half of the love, compassion, and empathy towards my kids that you do as they grow into their more difficult phases, I would be thrilled. Bechttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10157822153104480152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-87507411072276025032018-01-22T22:55:33.991-06:002018-01-22T22:55:33.991-06:00Heather, I remember that comment about your mother...Heather, I remember that comment about your mother! I am so sorry that you lost her and I very much hope that the mining of your less sparkling teenage interactions were her was not too painful and that you were able to end thinking about all the good ones. I want you to know that this quote "I felt helpless and not in control, and making my mother hurt, too, made me feel more in control. It gave me a sense of power in a world where I felt I had none." spoke to me and meshed so well with how James and I have been talking about these particular type of fits. I'm still not sure precisely what to do about them, but your words echoed explanations and understanding we've tried to piece together for a kid not yet old enough to do that for us himself. <br /><br />Secondly, and I am sure you know this, but I can't go to bed without writing it: even as adult-you recognizes your mother might not have deserved whatever particular behavior you're remembering, it didn't matter, and she would have loved you SO MUCH underneath it (and on top of it and through it) anyway at that exact moment. As I was explaining to Landon in bed the other night, he can test it all he wants, but there is *nothing* that would change how much his dad and I love him. It's like an iceberg, huge and vast and sinking deep below the surface, unbothered by the waves sometimes crashing around us. He can hurt us and he can make tiny little chips at the top, he has that power and responsibility that you have to anyone who loves you and is vulnerable to you, and he has to decide how he wants to use it, but nothing nothing nothing ever will permanently change the iceberg itself. I have no doubt your mom loved you fiercely through the waves.LLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-21926695009343964212018-01-22T22:52:44.679-06:002018-01-22T22:52:44.679-06:00I do not have anything to add to many of the eloqu...I do not have anything to add to many of the eloquent comments above, but I just wanted to let you know that--as a long-time reader--I am sending good thoughts and virtual hugs your way! You are a rock star mother, wife, daughter, and friend. As a mother of three myself (10, 8, & 6), I find your posts so refreshing and honest and I look forward to many more as you continue to navigate whatever challenges life throws at you with grace, style, and humor. Hang in there!!! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-45886816807898721172018-01-22T22:12:39.687-06:002018-01-22T22:12:39.687-06:00Thank you Misha (and others) from the bottom of my...Thank you Misha (and others) from the bottom of my heart. I wish I had your email so I can just write to you directly, but I cannot tell you the salve your comment was on a raw heart just now. I had discontinued my email notifications for new comments at 11 and had been afraid to log in and read the new ones now. I just genuinely wasn't expecting a catch-up post about a few full and crazy days, including a proud and excited recap of a victorious Landon + smart girls team reading competition, to end up slapping me in the face with the worst days of my life a decade ago. I didn't think, and upon too much "of course all criticism is true"-Type-A-reflection still truly do not believe, that my real life actions or even my decade of words here reflect a bitter anger towards my son or years of distance or disconnection. I just don't. <br /><br />I'm not going to debate it - I got diagnosed with Strep this afternoon and literally don't have the energy, and it only sounds defensive no matter how thoughtfully I try to write it in my head. I have ten years of words here; they're my truth, if only a small part of it, and I think they're largely a loving one. But all comments live in my head forever, so to the extent each give me something to think about that might be helpful I will. <br /><br />But before I take a few more drugs and go to bed I wanted to say thank you. LLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-76013053264610599812018-01-22T22:09:38.936-06:002018-01-22T22:09:38.936-06:00I am saddened to see what this comment section has...I am saddened to see what this comment section has created bc like others I worry it will<br />make you question yourself. I have also been reading since Landon’s infant days and everything that happened and please know that anyone who tries to give psychological advice over a comment section SHOULD NOT BE. I say this because while their intentions may be good, they are not professionals who should be making these statements. Trust yourself, trust the therapists you are working with and trust your family. Do not trust internet commentators. Including myself! It’s your life and your kid and every parent is learning every day. Do not feel guilty for having fears, doubts or concerns. Many women and mothers deal with these issues and seeing someone else dealing with the same issues can make someone feel less alone, less like a bad mom, and less like a mistake. Should you consider Landon and how this can affect him if he were to find it? Sure. But clearly you have and continue to think through that and that will grow and change as he gets older. Life is hard enough without having to worry what everyone else thinks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-58282206012961888292018-01-22T20:24:09.339-06:002018-01-22T20:24:09.339-06:00I’ve been reading for a long time and rarely comme...I’ve been reading for a long time and rarely comment. What I love about your blog is how honest and real you are in both happy times and challenging ones. I hope you continue to share your beautiful story with us. I know it inspires me. I’m going to have my third (surprise) baby in a few months and your experiences have provided so much encouragement. I really look up to you as a parent and know many others do as well. Nicolenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-28750324958571860032018-01-22T19:53:25.837-06:002018-01-22T19:53:25.837-06:00I have read your blog since before Landon was born...I have read your blog since before Landon was born, but rarely comment. I just want to add my voice to the majority that read your blog and are refreshed by your honesty, candor, and incredible love for your family. You are totally #goals for me as a parent of three kids younger than yours and I adore your blog. My oldest child is a six year old boy with a huge heart and matching giant emotions. I have two younger girls who are seemingly easier at the moment. Admitting one kid is challenging in this season is so refreshingly honest. This comment section is making it clear as to why more bloggers gloss over the difficulties of parenting and are increasingly unrelateable. Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01543456791760470586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-24044319707842037532018-01-22T19:52:31.301-06:002018-01-22T19:52:31.301-06:00I so wish I could "like" comments. This ...I so wish I could "like" comments. This was beautifully written and important to say. I agree with it all. Kimberlynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-58823569132824636382018-01-22T19:05:26.773-06:002018-01-22T19:05:26.773-06:00I have read your blog for years, but rarely commen...I have read your blog for years, but rarely comment. Once I told you how much your sweet and lovely mother reminds me of my wonderful mother that I lost in 2015. I read very few blogs, but I read this one religiously and I’m so grateful for it. <br /><br />I will echo Misha’s statement that she’s afraid this comment section will hurt you and you will be more guarded from here on out. I very much hope that won’t be the case, but I understand if it is. <br /><br />When I was growing up, I sometimes behaved toward my mother as Landon is behaving toward you. I’ve been mining those interactions and feelings in my head in the hopes that I can tell you something that might be helpful. I felt helpless and not in control, and making my mother hurt, too, made me feel more in control. It gave me a sense of power in a world where I felt I had none. This is painful for me to talk about because while my mother had many flaws (we all do), she never deserved that behavior from me. <br /><br />Your love for your children, your husband, your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your friends and your community is incredibly clear. I’ve thought of you often over the last couple days and wish you a peaceful heart. <br />Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11070830887741144710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-67366937633063474082018-01-22T17:52:43.607-06:002018-01-22T17:52:43.607-06:00For what it’s worth, I love the way you write, pre...For what it’s worth, I love the way you write, precisely because you are so real about everything. And your love for L is always evident. I don’t find your writing uncomfortable, at all. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02785303379140029893noreply@blogger.com