tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post4740147000166784291..comments2024-03-28T22:49:03.563-05:00Comments on Lag Liv: On My Working MotherhoodLLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-25564123043597991902011-05-09T08:08:45.790-05:002011-05-09T08:08:45.790-05:00LOVE this post! Fist-pump!
Also, since my oldest...LOVE this post! Fist-pump! <br /><br />Also, since my oldest is in "real school" now, I have to share a story with you. While it is obviously true that there are more non-working moms at his school than at daycare, there are also a LOT of 2-parents-working families. The day I signed him up for after-school care, I was sad and nervous that he was going to be lonely and just wish I could pick him up at 3:15 in carpool. Guess what? That was the longest line at student orientation. EVERYONE was signing up for after care, or early-morning care, or both, just like us.<br /><br />His best friends are there with him, he plays and does homework and, OMG, READS so much, and we still have time for baseball practice. It's a miracle, but we do. It all works out. :)Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17335404463349950566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-45465997289166143922011-05-07T16:35:01.289-05:002011-05-07T16:35:01.289-05:00I've put off reading this post in my google re...I've put off reading this post in my google reader because I was afraid of what it would say. <br /><br />I am really hoping to have a family and now that I'm working in a fast paced, huge billing requirement firm I was worried that wouldn't be possible. This post was so uplifting and encouraging. Thank you for giving me hope!Brittanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07515732200660298865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-75706112622523374482011-05-07T00:41:56.456-05:002011-05-07T00:41:56.456-05:00I identify and agree with so much of what you wrot...I identify and agree with so much of what you wrote. I love daycare and am actually glad that there is a good reason for him to be there because he has learned so many wonderful things there and become even more adorable and loveable. Especially because I had 15 months to be a stay-at-home mom, I feel comfortable saying that my kids will probably always have two working parents because I have no desire to go back to that. But I do know that I want to work less (much less) some day when I can afford to and have enough experience to get the job I want.<br /><br />It might just be semantics, but I view this as completely a matter of my happiness, and down the road, my kids' happiness/well-being, rather than feeling guilty over other peoples' expectations or the idea that my kids might want me to be home more. Either way, it's a never-ending trial and error process to find what works for you and I'm happy that you've found a system that works for you and your family, even if it's not the permanent solution.LEOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09484533116463797465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-18592937250127628852011-05-07T00:17:03.100-05:002011-05-07T00:17:03.100-05:00I love that! I always wonder what their little br...I love that! I always wonder what their little brains think we do "at work." I remember when I was a munchkin, asking my dad what he did when he was at work. He told me that he "makes money." So, for awhile I literally thought he made money, like worked the printing press or something. Heh. I think Cora understands, sorta, that her dad works in a hospital and is sorta like a doctor. I'm not sure what Cora thinks I do, because a lot of my own work is done at home so she sees me working.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11173655298262399906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-82192280408248384492011-05-06T21:13:04.777-05:002011-05-06T21:13:04.777-05:00LL, I have commented before at your complete luck ...LL, I have commented before at your complete luck at reaching such a good balance.I am happy you're happy.(A little jealous, but hey...)<br /><br /> In my part of the world, good day care does not just eventually happen if you look hard enough--- you have to figure out what qualities are important to you, and accept that you won't be 100% happy. After visiting about 40 day care situations, I put my older son in a fully licensed, participated-in-the-local-daycare-association home day care that had an enclosure around the floor furnace....but let the kids (ages 2 and 3) stand on the front porch unsupervised on Trash Pickup Day. The owner talked on the phone a lot, gave the kids doughnuts ("one for each hand!") regularly and, once my kid could really talk, and could explain that "L hit me" wasn't just repeating old news, but reflected daily, unchecked bullying....yeah. Licensed. <br /><br />Before that, we had a minister's wife, my fairy godmother, who had no work permit but talked to my son a lot, in two languages, and even spoke my dh's dialect; was a nurse and had raised 4 boys....and no, her stairs weren't enclosed, but she got on all fours and taught my then-crawler how to back down the stairs safely. She was as close to perfect as I ever found. <br /><br />My younger son was in family day care with a family who LOVED him, but if one of their kids was contagious I had to take off from work, and fortunately he reached school age before they had the opportunity to convert him to their ultra-conservative, fundamentalist Christian thinking, because we felt he needed to wait until he was old enough to choose for himself. (I never did find anything in the "how to find perfect daycare articles about watching out for xenophobic adults....) See? Ain't none of it perfect for always. Enjoy it while you can,sweetie, and revisit those contingency plans so they're ready on a moment's notice!<br /><br />And... not to be a total buzzkill here but.... it isn't EASIER when they're older; it's DIFFERENT. And it goes by too darn fast, either way. <br /><br />If I had the best of all possible worlds, it would be to have Sweden's right of parents to work a 45% schedule until the child is 6, and a "day mama" family day care, with a backup provider. I would have been a happy camper. Possibly rested, too (since I was trying to save weekends for family, nighttime was for...Target! And groceries!)Lisa M.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-2028738227946499012011-05-06T20:53:58.460-05:002011-05-06T20:53:58.460-05:00I'm so jealous! I wish I could feel this way. ...I'm so jealous! I wish I could feel this way. I'm constantly struggling with my decision to be a working mom. So many times, I've wondered if my life would be filled with much more daily satisfaction if I had not gone to law school so that I can be a stay at home mom without worrying about the law school debt. <br /><br />I think a lot of the problem is my state of mind. I can't control my guilt, even when I know my son is happy and healthy. It's just haunting and will not listen to reason!CPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09049860284871030328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-1737292841317834052011-05-06T20:24:34.743-05:002011-05-06T20:24:34.743-05:00I just re-read my comment and wanted to clarify th...I just re-read my comment and wanted to clarify that I meant "find" not "fight." Fighting them wouldn't really make much sense, now would it? My other advice would be to not comment on blogs while at work and on the phone... ;)Wendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-33823110351349416492011-05-06T18:01:40.919-05:002011-05-06T18:01:40.919-05:00I like this post, but I like it for the reason I l...I like this post, but I like it for the reason I like your blog generally - that you have the take the most positive possible outlook on things. Had my daughter written that my favorite thing to do was work a lot, I would have cried, and not in a good way. :( I struggle with a lot of working mom guilt. <br /><br />I second the other commenters and your post that good childcare can make a world of difference.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-58152004951406490422011-05-06T17:28:48.161-05:002011-05-06T17:28:48.161-05:00LT, I'm running out the door, but I just wante...LT, I'm running out the door, but I just wanted to say that I totally think this will be harder as the kids get older and are out of the "everyone has two working parents" world of daycare. And I'm lucky that because my office is located in the suburbs so close to my house (though I frequently long for the corporate downtown environment), I run about 90% of my errands during lunch. And since the kids aren't old enough to have weekend activities (though soccer is starting this Fall for Landon!), our weekends really get to be all about relaxing and playing with them. I hope I am always as happy as I am now, but I do expect it to get harder pretty much every year until they go to college!.LLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-62114521803414896272011-05-06T17:17:19.965-05:002011-05-06T17:17:19.965-05:00I love this post LL. I wish I could have as much ...I love this post LL. I wish I could have as much peace as you do with the whole working mom thing! It really is refreshing, as so many women feel tremendous guilt even when they enjoy their jobs. Your post about Landon's card definitely made me feel silly for being embarrassed that S said on her mother's day list that I'm a great mommy because I take her to stores. For some reason, I just pictured her teachers sitting in judgment of me because I have to spend the weekends running errands. The difference between our situations may be the fact that S goes to a traditional pre-school, not daycare. Many of her classmates (I'd venture to say the majority) have mothers who stay home. Thus, it is easier to feel judged in that setting. Sadly, it's even worse in public school. O's teachers constantly expect the mothers to volunteer and look askance at all of those selfish mothers who can't seem to make it to school on a regular basis to help out. So I really think it says something that you are able to shrug off the pressure and judgments from others. I really wish my skin were thicker. Anyway, like Landon, S views going to stores together as positive and fun and I should not feel guilty that I spend weekend time running errands.LTnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-48802574849832148252011-05-06T16:51:32.452-05:002011-05-06T16:51:32.452-05:00Thank you SO much for this post. I really needed i...Thank you SO much for this post. I really needed it today. It was my first day back at work after having had my second child. And though I dreaded it, it was....good. So much of this really resonated!Courtneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-78527470866524173532011-05-06T14:01:49.667-05:002011-05-06T14:01:49.667-05:00I love this post. I just want to say "Ditto&...I love this post. I just want to say "Ditto" to the whole thing. When my daughter was in Kindergarten they asked her what her Mommy did at work (ie: what's her job). Her answer was: "She eats lunch."Procrastamomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03309643649093380151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-60401595460094280152011-05-06T14:01:43.620-05:002011-05-06T14:01:43.620-05:00My advice to anyone contemplating the idea of beco...My advice to anyone contemplating the idea of becoming a working mother is to look at lots of daycares and fight the one that is the most perfect fit for you and your family. For me, that made all the difference. My daughter is 3, and we're on our 3rd provider. Finally, we found the right fit. I learned that the extra money you might have to spend for the right fit is definitely worth it. There was nothing fundamentally wrong with the first two - one was an in-home provider who was great for her as an infant, but I had safety concerns as she became mobile, and one center was good, but just so big. She is now in a place where she LOVES to go, and where she thrives. And while I am sad at times about how much I'm missing and how fast it's going, I also know I that I enjoy her more with our break from each other each day. And, I know that she's happy and thriving and well-adjusted and... it works. But, you have to take the time to really find the right fit.Wendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-82757584066743179232011-05-06T13:44:25.723-05:002011-05-06T13:44:25.723-05:00Thanks for this. When I had my little boy 8 weeks ...Thanks for this. When I had my little boy 8 weeks ago, I was okay with dropping him off at daycare but as th day approaches I am starting to worry if its the right thing. This gave me hope. I have the same thoughts about hoping he falls asleep soon so I can just get 1 thing done and then guilty about wanting a few moments.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-57729885333889248172011-05-06T13:30:52.555-05:002011-05-06T13:30:52.555-05:00i'm in law school and my husband and i are try...i'm in law school and my husband and i are trying to have a baby, and this post is so inspiring and wonderful and exactly what i needed. thank you!Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11909187629154264679noreply@blogger.com