Sorry for the lack of an update yesterday- the truth is, not much is going on. DCFS doesn't work on weekends (or Columbus day) so everything is pretty much on hold until tomorrow morning when our caseworker shows up again. The good news is that the doctors truly seem focused on Landon and his pain instead of our parenting. Almost everyone in the hospital has been witness to his screaming fits and they've done tests for the few things they can think of that would be causing them- it's a short list of problems that wouldn't have shown up in the bone scan, blood work, CT scan, physical exam, etc. Right now the working diagnosis remains some combination of reflux and colic, and they all say they've had babies with symptoms just as intense as Landon's. Right now they're trying to ease his reflux pain to see if that helps the screaming. We tried thickening his Neocate yesterday with rice cereal, but he absolutely refused to drink it. I don't blame him, the Neocate is disgusting- it makes Alimentum smell good by comparison. After 14 hours of not eating we tried Pedialyte which he gulped down. GI is coming by today, but I'm hoping they'll switch him back to the Alimentum and try thickening that. The screaming fits are no easier to endure, but at least I know he's been thoroughly checked for any and all other serious ailments and we just have to wait it out and comfort him as best we can.
Nothing has changed regarding the fractures and DCFS. They still don't know what caused the breaks, but they no longer look at us like criminals. In fact, since Saturday morning we've pretty much been treated like regular concerned parents. The doctors have said that the odds are we'll go home (still with the Safety Plan), DCFS will finish up their investigation, we'll "go on with our lives", and we'll never know why or how those ribs broke. This morning the new attending came in and almost sounded apologetic about the whole DCFS process. Once again, I'm not sighing in relief yet- I don't know where DCFS stands and who knows what tomorrow will bring- but it was certainly nice for the assumption to be "good mom" rather than "child abuser."
On Sunday I called a law professor who's wife is a muckety-muck physician here. She's met me several times and immediately offered to help. She called our attending and emphasized how caring we were with Landon and got all the inside information. She reported back that the doctors were no longer considering malice, that the rib fractures were accidental in some way, and they probably wouldn't know why they broke without the force usually required. It's not as tidy of a conclusion as I'd like, but it certainly sounds like the doctors won't be recommending any kind of extreme guardianship action to DCFS. I won't rest easy until all of this goes away completely, but we certainly feel more hopeful than we did on Friday.
My mom flies in tomorrow morning and we should be discharged under the DCFS safety plan. I won't be at my law classes today or tomorrow, but plan to return to some kind of normal schedule on Wednesday. If normal could ever encompass being legally barred from spending time alone with your son.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Holding Pattern
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14 comments:
It sounds like at least things are slightly easier to handle, even if nothing is resolved yet -- do you think that watching you with him at the hospital for the past week has changed the doctors' attitude?
Good luck to you two and Landon. And thank goodness for grandparents!
...what is happening to you and JP is appalling...i can't even begin to imagine the hell you must be going through...first with a sick baby whom you can't make feel better and then to be accused of harming him...disgusting...all my prayers are with you guys...in time, all will be right and you'll have landon back, happy and healthy...in time...
-ash
Hi Cookie,
Yes, I do think that's what made the difference- which is why it would be doubly horrible to have a protective order when you're falsely accused (and apparently we are the rare case where one was not put in place- every social worker has been surprised by it). Not only are you separated from your child, but you can't prove how warm and loving you are with him. Several doctors have said things like, "and obviously you two are very good with him" or "and of course DCFS will find that you're loving parents..." It's also allowed us to push for a diagnosis and keep the doctors updated on his reactions to different things.
Staying in the hospital room has made me very grateful- the situation could be so much worse.
Thank God for good connections. Still, it kills me that they can't figure out what's wrong with him. You'd think with all the technology, they'd be able to figure this out. You guys must be so frustrated!!! Hope the screaming/pain eases soon and he gets to go home with you guys.
LOL - the verification word is suxville (sounds like the land you're living in right now!)
I hope they can figure out what is truly medically wrong with him.
I know it doesn't actually make you feel better to hear this, but it is apparently very very common to have that screaming colic/reflux issue with babies. I apparently had both problems and my mother wanted to throw me out of a window due to six months of non-stop crying and screaming and apparently another year of intermittent incessant crying and screaming. I find it hard to imagine that I spent the first 18 months of my life crying and screaming, and little of anything else. It's a wonder my parents had another child at all!
My thoughts and prayers are still with you, and thank you for keeping us all updated. I'm sure I speak for everyone who reads when I say we'd love to be able to do more for you, but are happy you have so many wonderful friends/professors/doctors on your side at this point.
Seems to me "reflux" and "colic" are the baby versions of "irritable bowel syndrome" -- which is basically "we don't know what the hell's wrong with you, so we're going to call it IBS and send you home." Frustrating. I hope whatever it actually is, they find a way to fix it!
Okay little Landon, now that the docs have heard you holler, let's hope you "grow out of" this colic.
Still, what about the cause of those rib fractures. I was surprised that the docs hadn't heard of the item in that article you showed them, ll.
It sounds more and more like the original call to DCFS was "protocol"--and, I suppose it's good that doctors have such a protocol in place. I'd guess that in the vast majority of cases, the protocol does what it is supposed to. Obviously, your case is not one of those, and they seem to have realized it from the start, since you've been able to stay with Landon without supervision, etc.
Good luck with GI, and keep us posted!
LL,
I am just hearing about this. So sorry for everything you are going through. I know it must feel horrible to be scrutinized by DCFS. They have a tough job and have to investigate these things. My only advice is just to continue to be respectful and they will see that you are really concerned parents trying to help your son. It sounds like you are doing everything right.
Wishing the best for you, JP, and Landon.
I'm so glad that things are looking up in the legal realm and you can focus on helping Landon feel better.
Keeping you all in my thoughts & prayers until this is resolved. I have no doubt that you'll be cleared on the abuse allegations, but I really hope someone can nail what's wrong with Landon. He's just got to be so, so uncomfortable -- which makes his cheerful, smiley interludes all the more precious!
Thoughts and prayers from Alaska. I hope that you discover the source of what is going on so you can do what is best for you as a family. I also hope that the "system" does it's job and you won't be thinking of this as a nightmare, but ultimately a necessary evil. Thank God that you are a wonderful parent and we all know what they are saying isn't true.
i am glad things are looking a little better. You guys are so strong - I can't imagine how terrible it must be to be told you can't be alone with him when you have done all you have for him.
My thoughts are with you today, and I hope everything continues to improve as people get back to work after the weekend.
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